Symbolic rituals are gestures that help us, together with our families and friends, go through both happy and sad times in our lives. They are rich in history and vary according to religions, cultures and traditions carried over the ages.

The “funeral ritual”  is a traditional and public way of expressing our feelings, our thoughts and emotions. One of its objectives is to reduce the impact of the loss and the uncertainty associated with giving it meaning.

It also helps to address many issues involved in the process of reconciliation with death:

• Acknowledge the reality of death
  • We try to make sense of the death of a loved one. By organizing the funeral, it helps us to process our loss.  The ritual associated with the funeral allows us to both mentally and emotionally engage in the essential step of mourning.
• Give testimony to the life of the deceased
  • Listening, learning and sharing different testimonials from those participating in the ceremony allow us to remember the deceased and move away from their physical presence to one of cherished memories.
• Encourage the expression of grief
  • Funerals provide us with a place where we can express our painful emotions and where we can allow ourselves to do so.
• Provide support to mourners
  • Funerals, regardless of their format, involve the gathering of family, friends, and colleagues of the deceased. These gatherings, private or public, present an opportunity to support each other through these difficult times.
• Allows us to embrace of beliefs
  • It is an opportunity for many to express their faith and it often gives them the psychological support that they need.
• Offers hope for the living
  • Funerals provide moral support and often begin the difficult process of developing a new self identity and the acknowledgment of our new roles and responsibilities.

The need and the importance of rituals associated with death extend beyond the funeral itself. Depending on the faith or culture of the deceased, there is an array of rituals associated with death. Many traditions go back to ancient times.

Hospitals, hospices and palliative care residences often have a ritual following the death of a patient. This symbolic gesture can be a lit candle or a lamp that will be left on for a certain period of time. There may also be a procedural protocol to accompany the body as it leaves the premises.

These rituals serve multiple purposes. Although the staff and volunteers do not personally know the one who has passed, it brings them comfort while honouring the deceased. For the caretakers and volunteers, day to day life at work exposes them to a degree of physical and mental suffering. While their work with end of life patients and their loved ones brings them feelings of gratitude and satisfaction, the risk of burn out and of post-traumatic stress are always present.

A recent study conducted in 38 US States has shown that rituals bring about positive benefits and results. Whatever the formula, private or public, rituals are important. The objective is to highlight the life of the deceased and also to comfort and support those affected by the loss.

– Nicole Bourgoin Harlas