Why does one choose to be a volunteer at a palliative care residence? I have been asked this question multiple times since I joined the great team at La Traversée.

It seems that most of my colleagues committed to volunteer after a person close to them spent their final days at a palliative care residence. Others, who had a career in health care services, wished to offer their time in this environment.

My motivation is more “selfish” in a way….

As far as I can remember, I believed that I could not survive the death of my maternal grandparents. I would rehearse the moment when I would receive the bad news to see how I would react. This thought haunted me in my adult life until my grandfather left us. During the many months between learning that his cancer was incurable and until the day he died, I learnt how to deal with this death that I feared so much. In retrospect, it has been a great gift.

However, my deep thoughts about death did not stop. I wondered why I found this event so disturbing when in fact that is the only known certainty when a child is born. How could I develop an accepting approach about death? One solution was to not run away from death but to get informed and eventually to get involved. At times, we fear a situation or an event. We often believe that a mission is impossible until we jump in head-first. So, I decided to get involved in palliative care. Hard not to get any closer……

My quest was also inspired by an accumulation of observations. Since the death of my beloved grandfather, I lost a few people very dear to me. I remember that on at least 3 occasions, certain individuals included me in their inner circle to accompany them in their final days. They were not my family but they wanted my input with those that they were leaving behind. My collaboration was not as a caregiver but as a confident. They found me comforting and trusted that after their departure, I could facilitate making some of their wishes a reality. I interpreted their requests as testimonials that I possess certain qualities that allow me to have a positive effect on the terminally ill as well as their grieving loved ones.

This reassured me that it was OK for me to get involved if or when the opportunity would present itself. Somehow, I was feeling less “selfish” in pursuing this path. Therefore, I allowed myself to offer my services as a volunteer in my quest to become more accepting of death and by doing so I could contribute positively to the process.

And the opportunity presented itself one afternoon at the supermarket when I came upon a fundraising endeavour for La Traversée. I decided to offer my support, thinking that my professional experience in Customer Services could be an asset.

Only a few weeks after being amongst wonderful caring people, experienced in this field, and after cumulating hours at the reception desk, I have the feeling that I am getting closer to my objective. Along the way, I had the opportunity to bring a ray of sunshine to our courageous residents and to their resilient families.

I know that I am very privileged and for this I am extremely grateful.

– Nicole Bourgoin Harlas